If you’re locked up, you’re probably not going to have access to Twitter. And if you do, wouldn’t you be planning some sort of complex escape instead of just promoting a weak Havoc mixtape? Pardon my ignorance, but I would think if you gave a prisoner some Twitter access...

Pretty soon our favorite v-jay will be dispensing his ominous and menacing fortunes for low prices if you call him now. Real talk, dude’s a weirdo. And anytime you say “real talk,” it means what you’re saying is true. Real...

And not only that, but he also loves Lil’ Fame more than Lamp? Blasphemy! Tweet

We couldn’t have said it any better. Tweet

If it were anyone else calling us a fuckhead, we’d be really pissed. But Twinz gets a pass. Forever. Tweet

Whew, ’cause you know those rumors were just flying around…wait…what’s this? There were no “Ja Rule is dead” rumors and he’s just telling us he’s still alive? That’s it? Oh. Tweet

We always knew Poison Pen was a generous guy. But damn, now he’s giving blood to the singer on 50 Cent’s “Riding Thru the Hood”? Dude has a heart of gold and veins of generosity. Tweet

Somewhere Mark Eaton and John Crotty are crying. We hope you’re happy with yourself, Joell. Tweet

In other news, N.O.R.E. also brought sneakers to running and croutons to salad. Tweet

Damn, SP, spring for the DVR or TiVO or something so you don’t have to watch UFC fights in low quality. We’re just trying to help! Tweet

What’s the deal with raping you afterwards? Download the free beat, GO IN (gotta love that) and then he sodomizes you? That’s messed up...

‘Nuff said. Tweet

I’m sure Capone loved it too. Tweet

‘Nuff said. Tweet

Thanks, Buckwild! We were just about to book a tour with Planet Asia featuring Buzz Aldrin and Neal Armstrong, ’cause you know how they get it in on the mic. Just as we were about to Paypal half the money over to the Planet Asia, we came across this tweet and immediately cancelled. We...

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It’s not every day you get to interview a legend like Smoothe Da Hustler. What a lot of people don’t know is that I’ve been trying to get an interview with him for almost two years but tracking him down is damn-near impossible. He’s not the best with voicemail,...

We had no idea the ladies didn’t love a bunch of dudes who get their jollies off ripping beats to shreds. This is somewhat of an anomaly, as Soundscan reports consistently verify that the best lyricists’ albums fly off the shelves at an alarming rate while lesser-talented, gimmicky...

Taking advice from that smiley guy on that video show on that network is when you know you lost at life. Once you take advice from Terrence J, there’s no coming...

A!yo if u say lame shit on twitter do u have people on twitter i’m sorry? Lol Tweet

We love Digga. We’re huge fans. His beats bang and he’s a really good guy. But I never want to hear anything about this topic ever, ever again....

It takes a classy chick to follow Pen’s instructions. That being said, we’re doing all we can to make sure chicks get hit with a ton of money shots on August 4th. We just don’t want to be in the room when it...

There will be a bounty placed on the head of whoever tells Paul Wall any other symbols he can use just by holding down the key beneath the one that makes the letters...

First Chamillionaire steals multiple handicapped parking spaces so he doesn’t have to walk into Best Buy and then gets mad when someone tries to steal from him. Huh. Also, props for going with the pleading method at the end. That’ll definitely convince criminals to go rob...

Police: Sir, you were doing 80 in a 25. DJ Clue: Yo, here’s my I Run NYC credentials. Credentials. Credentials. Credentials. (each one was said softer than the last to produce the desired echo effect) Police: Yeah, um, I’m not sure if I can accept that. DJ Clue:...

What we really respect about the Bay Area’s one and only Jacka (well, there’s probably lots of “jackers” out there according to crime report data) is that although he’s planning on assaulting us, at least he asks us how we want it. Jacka: Knock ya teeth down ya...

Is Wiz too high to “give a fuck” in the “whatever whatever” kind of way or does he not “give a fuck” in the “my life and career is over” kind of way? Wiz’s “manager” “Artie” had better “put a call in” to...

It looks like JD didn’t preach the value of book learnin’ when he had the chance to. Tweet

And his neighbors said he always seemed like such a nice, regular guy. Tweet

I don’t know why Whole Foods doesn’t just put SP behind a camera and let him wing a 30 second spot. And when did The Ghost go all hippie on...

Looks like we can call off the Scram Jones hip-hop drug addiction intervention. Ol’ boy got murked last night. Cause of death – a trident thrown by N.O.R.E. He was later seen telling Capone, “I love lamp.” And it looks like Buckwild may be an accomplice here, or at the...

Browsing through my Reader today, I noticed something was off. Something wasn’t feeling right. You know that feeling you get when you maybe didn’t get enough sleep or drink enough water throughout the day? That’s the feeling I got today. And word is bond, something was wrong....

Scram Jones has a problem. Not only does he sniff the paint chips Jada used to walk by in his shiny suit days, but he’s also known for licking subway poles in Queens that 50 might have touched and rolling around sidewalks in BK that Biggie possibly stepped on. Props to N.O.R.E. for...

Can. Not. Contain. Excitement. Tweet

What’s even worse he’s taking up a handicapped space that someone might legitimately need and then Twitters it, when he could have done what any normal person would have done and park further from the store and not Twitter it and gotten to the store in the exact same time. Classy...

Word on the street is the rappers were going to fire back but they were too disinterested to formulate a response. Tweet

Only thing is, she’ll fall apart once you try...

Al, I know what it’s like. The ladies won’t voluntarily give me handjobs either so I worked on ways of being inventive as well. This “spill soda on the crotch and let her clean it up” technique works great. I also like telling my young female doctor that I broke my...

All of a sudden bathing’s not too cool anymore. Damn, Ja, I know you want to get your Twitter update game on, but we really really really really really really really do not want to know about your personal hygiene. Boundaries, brother,...

Props to Wale for trying to get all the artists who work at the DMV together. I think it’s a great morale booster to get everyone on the same page so they’re not all making songs about excellent customer service and briskly-moving lines. Plus what a waste it’d be if every DMV...

After an extensive search for Crooked I, he found him…and then ate him. Slaughterhouse then dwindled down to three...

Usually one asks a question about two things to decipher them because they appear to be closely related. It is because the person wants clarification. For ex. What’s the difference between pooping all over myself or pooping on someone else? At first, your like, well, they both seem fun...

Really don’t understand this, but I guess smoking, drinking a “Hot Tottie” and then humping for an hour sounds like a perfect remedy for...

Browz wasn’t concerned with his remix being “disrespectful” but more so with the fact that the song’s intent is to stop dudes from taking off their shirts in the clubs. Why else would he say it’s “disrePECTful”? Definition: Dis-re-pect: to not...

Rumor has it, the two met up in Nore’s castle, where Digga was anointed the ability to use cuss words with two swift taps of a sword to both of Digga’s shoulders. Rumor also has it, the producer is now cursing like a...

Nore, worried sick about his partner in rhyme, Capone, decided that a phone call was not necessary to see if his friend was OK. Instead, he let out a twitter message to the world asking if Capone was alive. If Capone was dead, seriously injured or in bed with a fever, he probably would not...

No you’re not. Tweet